Volunteering & Volunteer Students

(This is the 5th post from Philanthropy Indaba client, Eva, who is in India on a teaching internship.)

I left to volunteer at School with little expectations. I decided that total ignorance was bliss. From the get-go, I surrendered myself to experience. The possibilities were too daunting to consider and I decided that no expectations were better than dashed expectations. This is completely out of character. But today I’m thanking my lucky stars that I blindly boarded a plane, because if someone had tried to explain School I probably wouldn’t have made it to JFK.

I share my shower with four daddy long-legs spiders and the flies caught in their webs. Scorpions and cobras roam freely on School grounds.  There are power cuts daily. There isn’t a latte for miles. I haven’t read Vanity Fair in months. There’s no air conditioning, only archaic fans. I can’t eat salad. Big sunglasses just don’t work here. If you know me, you’re probably wondering if hell froze over. I’ve had to find all new coping mechanisms.

Additionally, I’m not always a charitable person. Past community service at soup kitchens prompted only fear of homelessness because you couldn’t shower and had to…eat at soup kitchens. I didn’t sleep better at night confident I had “made a difference.” I’ve never been one to enthusiastically find a park to clean up. Recycling seemed like an enormous effort. I’m an only child and sometimes don’t like sharing. My college housemates laughed at my ability to keep my own room spotless while trashing common areas. I’ve never pretended to be a do-gooder. I’ve always considered my time especially valuable. I certainly won’t sacrifice for just anything.

I feel that my disinterest in on-the-ground philanthropy until this experience speaks to effective giving. The whole point of volunteering is the desire to help. No one asks you to dedicate your time or money, theoretically you choose to do it. You simply have to want to help. Not because it’s trendy, not because you got rejected from one too many job interviews (although that can be a huge factor), not because your entire graduating class joined the Peace Corps. A philanthropic trip must connote personal meaning.

That being said, I don’t believe such trips are all about the donor either.

American society fosters an absurdly overindulgent culture of self. Therapy became mandatory for five-year-olds. Volunteering especially has become a bizarre rite of solitary passage. Philanthropic trips require some combination of strong individualistic proclivities, but also collaborative instincts. It’s not always about you. Too often, I hear the reason for helping others is, “Things just weren’t working out at home, I really need to do some soul-searching and find myself.” I detest the phrase “soul-searching.” Especially when it’s used in the same sentence as, “And so that’s why I decided to come to Africa and build mud huts!” Pity parties should be left in the self-help aisle. If you’re genuine, you provide a skill set. You don’t write poetry out of your own tears and call it “giving.”

Giving successfully on the ground also means you help in uncomfortable or even futile ways. Day after day I remind myself that I’m here to pitch in where needed. “Helping” isn’t necessarily in my comfort zone (I know nothing about Indian Civics, a subject I have been teaching, for example), but I’m here to fill a need. One must shirk cultural nuances as well. Coming from America as a Type-A neurotic personality, I want as much information as possible when I enter a situation. I want to know who’s in charge (It took me a while to grasp that I was in charge), who’s liable, and admittedly, who I can blame when things go wrong. I’m used to superiors, training, Q and A’s and FAQ’s. I’m used to pawning risky decisions off on others.

Philanthropy at School means taking responsibility without knowing what’s expected of you. Here, when I make mistakes (a daily occurrence), I have to own them. Usually I don’t know I’ve made mistakes. But School doesn’t have time for explanations. When funds are tight and substitute teachers are needed for the day, there simply isn’t an alternative. I operate within Indian culture and must shake-off unknowing offenses. It’s not all Chicken Soup for the Volunteer’s Soul.

Fine with me, I chose to sacrifice my comfort and donate my time for the good of this institution. School is worth my while.